My Immortal
by GreenCondor1
Summary: King Zachary's thoughts about Karigan a couple of days after he hears about the events that occured in Blackveil. Please R&R. Post BV story!


**This song made me think of what King Zachary might be going through until he learns Karigan's fate. I hope that you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or any of the plot reffered to from Blackveil. They belong to Kristen Britain, one of the best authors ever :)**

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><p>"When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears<br>When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
>And I held your hand through all of these years<br>But you still have all of me"

My Immortal, Evanescence

Her laughter rang through his dreams, and that warm breathtaking smile seemed to be meant for him and only him. He smiled as she reached out to him and moved forward, waiting for him to place his hand in hers. Without even a moment of hesitation, he started to step forward, but it seemed like each step he took towards her, the farther away from her he was. Frowning, he started to run, but still, he could not reach her. The trees surrounding them were suddenly replaced by charcoal colored trees that appeared to be dead. She was still there, her hand outstretched, but a black figure was making its way towards her. It placed its hand in hers and yanked her forwards, and did not release her even when she struggled. Turning towards him, it smiled an evil smile, its rotten discolored teeth visible in the darkness. Clutching a stone of some sort in its hands, the figure unleashed a black terror on her. Her mouth opened in a silent scream, and he knew that she was dying. But still, he was rooted to the spot. He was forced to watch her pain, and his gaze rested on her as she slid to the ground, motionless. Tears blurred his eyes as he watched the figure turn fully towards him, laughing maniacally. He was stunned to find that the face was oddly familiar, even though he had never seen the figure before. Before he could claim revenge, he was pulled back by a strong force.

King Zachary gasped for air, an expression of pure terror on his face. Glancing around, he realized that he was in his room, alone. Karigan wasn't there, and neither was the figure. Sighing in relief, he closed his eyes and took deep breaths, trying to calm himself. But when he closed his eyes, all that he could picture was Karigan being killed by what he could only guess was Mornhavon the Black. Opening his eyes again, he sat up and set his feet on the ground.

It had been too long since he had had a nightmare. The last time was probably after Amilton had taken over, if he didn't count the ones he had in his near-death experience. It had been years since the coup, and for the first time in years, he finally felt more like a man and less like a King. Dressing quickly, he walked out into the hallway and stood by the nearest window. The faintest lights of the dawn had not even touched the sky, and somewhere in the city, the bell could faintly be heard. King Zachary walked out of his apartments and started walking with no destination in mind. He could feel the presence of his silent, shadow-like guards behind him and allowed a slight smile to form, knowing that the Weapons were discrete and trusted. Wherever he went whatever emotions he showed… they wouldn't tell the information, even to each other. He stepped out into the gardens, the cold night air penetrating his clothes. He shivered involuntarily.

The castle grounds suddenly seemed like a dark and forbidding place; not even the leaves were moving. There was no sound or movement, only stillness. Sighing, Zachary walked towards the ruins of the old Rider barracks. His thoughts traveled back to that night when Karigan had come back from a run. He had made the mistake of telling her of Ephram's death, Alton's, and Mara's injury in one moment. He had thought that she had known already, but in the end, he only caused her more pain. Now, it seemed like it was the opposite.

He had learned only a couple of days ago of the events that occurred in the treacherous forest that had claimed many innocent (and some not so innocent) lives. Blackveil. He loathed the name, the forest, and Mornhavon with all his might. Karigan had disappeared after smashing the mask, and he was still unsure if she was dead or alive. When Lynx had returned alone, he had feared that Karigan was dead. A part of him didn't want to know what terrible fate had befallen her, but not knowing, he decided, was worse.

Tears stung his eyes as he realized that there was really no chance that Karigan was alive. It had taken Lynx months to arrive at the castle, and in that time, Karigan could have died from starvation, dehydration, she could have bled to death… the list seemed to go on. He couldn't stop imagining all the things that _could_ have happened to her, and it bothered him. He needed to know that she was really gone before he could let go and move on.

When Zachary snapped out of his thoughts, he found that his feet had taken him to the stables. Sighing softly for what seemed like the hundredth time, Zachary climbed the ladder that led to the hayloft. He had been so free to love Karigan and be her comfort when she had lost so much. Now, even if Karigan were to somehow survive, even the smallest possibility of the two of them being together was erased. He was a married man to a woman that he didn't even love. He couldn't make the wrong move that would leave his kingdom to fall prey to the forces of Mornhavon the Black. Life was like an Intrigue game, and he felt like he was torn between doing what's best for his kingdom and what he wanted to do.

It had been only two days, but already, he felt like Karigan was gone. She had always been just within his reach, and now, he felt like he had lost her. When he was near her, he wanted to be her comfort whenever things became too much for her. He wanted to hold her, to be there for her. Most of all, he wanted to protect her. But he had failed miserably at that. When she had needed him that night so long ago, he had been there for her. Everything in his life at the moment was going wrong now, and he felt like he needed her to make everything right again.

"Karigan, I love you." He whispered softly, finally letting the tears fall freely. He loved her and he needed her, but she couldn't be there for him as he was there for her. He made a vow to try and find some way out of his marriage if she survived, because he knew that the only thing worth living for now was her.

Without her, he would fall apart.

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><p><strong>So how was it? I'm afraid that its a bit jumbled and confusing, but I hope that you understood it :) Please review (you're extra awesome if you do!) and tell me what you thought about my story! And if you haven't already, check out Shattered!<strong>

**Wow, I've gotten to the point where I'm advertising :) Maybe I can get a commercial... :D Yeah right. Just kidding!**

**GreenCondor1**


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